Rev3 Quassy Thighmaster Race Report

Rev3 Quassy is set in the rolling hills of Middlebury, CT. It is scenic. It was also incredibly hot and humid.

The Slice RS, ready for its debut race. I loved my original Slice, and the RS is beyond amazing.

Photo: Rep-am.com

The pros were non-wetsuit, which I actually prefer - I feel it evens the field a bit and I like swimming in my speedsuit better.

I missed feet and swam solo for 1.2 miles, managing to swim relatively straight.

Onto the bike I felt good and the chase was on. My legs were there, and I started passing girls. Around mile 20 I went up a long hill and felt like my seat was not where it should be - in fact, it was moving around, rotating forward and backward - like a teeter totter. Not good! But maybe it will stay in place enough to ride?? Going downhill was a bit of a challenge, as I had to squeeze my legs together to hold the seat in place so I wouldn't crash. For ten miles I kept grabbing the seat and trying to reposition it. Finally at mile 30 it fell off and I found myself on the side of the road holding it in my hand looking for the bolt that holds it to the bike. (I actually found this!) Everyone I had passed eventually went by. None of them had an allen key, and neither did I.

I got the seat back in place and figured I would tighten the bolt as much as I could with my fingers and make it work.

Back on the bike and back to my thighmaster routine of riding as hard as I could while trying to keep my seat in place. And this is when I started laughing and couldn't stop thinking of Richard Simmons saying "Squeeze it Ladies!"

It went like this:
Riding flat I could somewhat adjust the seat to a position that felt semi-correct. I would hit a hill and the seat would slide, so I'd stand up and climb. Sit back down and have the seat stab me in the ass because it is now almost vertical. Reposition by reaching between my legs to grab the seat. Hit a downhill, get onto the seat, commence thighmaster workout of holding seat between my legs so as not to lose it / crash.

At mile 42 it fell off again. I stopped, fixing it much faster this go around. I was somewhat over my thighmaster workout and by this point really felt that I belonged in neon clothing and a headband rather than a tri kit. I was also confident if needed I could ride standing up the final miles and this actually motivated me to ride faster just to get off the bike before I reached the standing-up-only point.

I had a small dance party by myself in T2 to celebrate actually arriving at T2.

I had counted girls all day and when I left T2 was fairly certain I was in 12th. The money went 10 deep. I knew I was far back, but it was hot and the course is hilly, so if there was to be any luck on the day for me, I just might catch a few. Plus I love running hard courses. So off I went, running on a mission.

The look on my face kind of says it all.

I passed 3 girls and you'd think I was winning - I was so excited to actually be running and probably getting a paycheck after my Richard-Simmons-squeeze-it-workout! Then I passed a spectator who told me I was in 12th. WHAT?! No, no, no. I like 9th better. Maybe he counted wrong. 

The run course.

I attempted to count girls on the out-and-back, but I was working too hard and trying to make myself go faster and math doesn't work well at mile 10. I also had this small issue that the inside of my thighs were destroyed from thigh-mastering my seat for 30 miles.

Spectator-man was correct. I was in 12th and that was where I finished. Disappointing, but it was still a great day. My fitness is there and I'm confident that Ironman Frankfurt - my A race of the season - will be a great day. I was happy that when faced with my first ever bike mechanical I didn't lose my head and freak out. I'm also planning to create a TV infomercial for triathletes who wish to tone their inner thighs a bit on the trainer in the off-season.

Post race celebrations with my awesome homestay.

Yesterday was my Dad's birthday - so a big Happy Birthday to my awesome Dad who introduced me to this crazy sport.

I consider myself lucky to work with some of the best people in this industry. THANK YOU to Cannondale for creating an amazing bike, Zoot for outfitting me from head to toe, SKLZ for believing in my abilities and helping me recover, Profile Design for awesome aero bars, fast wheels and hydration, Powerbar for fueling me, Extreme Endurance for keeping my thighs from burning yesterday, Rudy Project for protecting my head and eyes, Bont for stiff and comfortable bike shoes,  Sable Water Optics for making goggles I love, and Microscope World for time off from work to go race a thighmaster triathlon.